ENOUGH

How much is enough?

I am being serious. How much is enough patience. How much is enough love. How much is enough forgiveness. Sometimes it's hard to really take the time to figure out the answers. I'm tired, pulled, proded, and ultimately exhausted. I'm tired of giving more than "enough". I need to remember to be patient, I really do and to remember those people who ultimately make my life worth living. They keep me sane. Sometimes I just feel like I need an outlet. I need an escape, from everyone and everything. I need a vacation.

I need out..... for now, here I rant.

********Fate********

Have you ever found it funny that when you really need a friend, that sometimes the fates smile down on you and you happen to find someone?

Is there really such a thing as fate or is it a really fantastic universal anomaly that you find one out of millions that you can connect, relate, smile, and laugh with? Isn't it odd though? If you fess up to the fact that you believe in fate does that mean that whatever you do, it doesn't matter because fate will interfere to shape your life? Or do you have to play the middle ground and say you believe in fate but that you still can change your fate depending on how you live your life? Doesn't that cancel the whole idea of fate???? huh.... or maybe that's when you just smile to the heavens and say "hey thanks" :)

Trust?

trust- How do you know who to trust? Do you give people the benefit of the doubt? Why does the natural instinct tell you to not to put yourself on the line?

vulnerability- Everything inside you screams to keep yourself tied in... pulled together... to not let anyone else become part of you.

fear- You second guess. You don't want to mistrust people but you can't help it. Do you go against that little voice in your head?

*hope*- I can't help it. It's who I am. Stupid or not. The benefit of the doubt.

Going ons :)

So, I officially got moved into my new apartment in Alpine Village. I LOVE IT! It is so super nice, has a dishwasher, a washer and dryer, and a flat screen tv. Life doesn't get much better than that. My roommate is darling and I am having a blast. Other than trying to move in, I have been working a TON. Most mornings I go into Utah Valley Regional Medical and work in the NICU as a diet tech. Oh and did I mention I have to be there at 5:30 in the morning? ha ha It's been exciting to say the least.... anyone who knows me realizes that I am not a morning person. It has worked out really well so far though! I've also been working a ton at the MTC and that is still fun! So, I have been keeping busy to say the least. I am excited for all my upcoming vacations. Mid-July my family and I are going to Florida!! Woo for Disney World! The break will be a relief. Hopefully we will also fit a boating trip in there somewhere :) Life is good. Summer is great.

SISTERS

I can't even tell you how much I love my girls. My sisters and I haven't always been super close... not saying we ever had a bad relationship, because we didn't (except for maybe when Jen tried to babysit us lol she was mean... but that is another story entirely). I have been at school for the last few years, Jen has gotten married, and Julie has been at home with mom and dad. I don't get to see them a whole lot which is super sad. I think that the last time we were all together was when we took pictures for my mom's birthday present. This picture (to the left) was one of the many we took :) It was so fun to be with them, goofing off, and being us. Love you beautiful girls <3

Random People Random Topics Random Questions

So, I have decided that one of my favorite things in the whole world is talking to random people. Ok so maybe not the totally random kind, but aquaintences. I love trying to figure a person out, having random conversations about whatever you feel like talking about. Being free and open enough to discuss anything that comes to mind, and being comfortable enough to ask anything that comes to mind, is worth it's weight in gold. I love knowing that someone wants to know how I work, the things that I like, my story. In return I love doing the same. You get a totally different viewpoint than what you are used to. It is unbelievably refreshing!! College is the best. This has happened so many times in the past few weeks, it is amazing. This is most definately a favorite thing.

You Changed Me

You may never have realized it, or maybe you did,

but you changed me.

You made me more open to life, to living it, to making mistakes.

Was it always a good thing?... absolutely not

... do I regret one second of it?... absolutely not.

You gave me confidence in myself. You helped me prove to me that I was beyond expectation. You made me want to be great, cute, funny and smart.

I cared because you did.

I can't and won't give you full credit if you ever try and take it, because I can see you trying.

But I will admit, you were a big part of my life and I thank you for that. I will most surely never ever be the same. I owe you one. Good luck in your adventures.

I have no doubt you will take life and convince it to go whatever direction that you want it to go

... make the most of it.